I felt sad, disconnected from the life around me. One day, I was especially upset. I was home alone, and my frustration and impatience suddenly became too much to bear. I had put so much time and energy into healing myself and I still wasn’t cured, not even close. I was lost, and was unsure exactly where to go, what to do. I started to yell.
“I need you to help me! I can’t do this alone!” I shouted to the emptiness around me.
I don’t know if I was asking God, or my angels, or both, for help. I knew this was bigger than me. I knew I needed more help. I trusted God and His guidance, and prayed that I would find some answers soon.
Before long, I heard that a workshop honoring the earth’s cycle and the full moon was being held in a nearby town. It was a special event because it was the final full moon of that year, and a total lunar eclipse. A well known spiritual messenger, international teacher, and ceremonial leader was running the workshop. It caught my attention because I had become interested in understanding more about earth based spiritual practices.
Intrigued, I looked it up online. I learned that a full moon was a time to shed light on the things that created disharmony in our lives and prevented us from realizing our full spiritual selves. We could bring much of our hurt, doubt, and anger to the surface to be healed. It sounded very interesting, and seemed to offer some things that might help me. I signed up that day. I felt a strong sense of excitement in the days leading up to the workshop. I wasn’t nervous. Somehow it felt very right to me and was something I knew I was supposed to experience.
The workshop leader was very open and friendly and explained the different rituals and symbolism as she shared them with us. She also worked with different crystals and elixirs. I was intrigued. We symbolically took what we felt no longer served us, what was holding us back, and threw it into a fire under the beautiful full moon. The fire roared. It felt great. I felt great. I was beginning to feel there really was hope. I looked up at the moon on that cloudless night and I saw what I can best describe as sound waves vibrating all around it. I was mesmerized. This was really something, it was bigger than me.
The workshop leader also spoke about her experiences with the animals and her life totem. She explained that your life totem is an animal that reflects your inner spiritual nature. It can also be called your power animal. I certainly had been visited by a lot of animals, but I knew in my heart that I hadn’t been visited by my life totem yet. As I left that night, I intuitively knew that the next animal I saw would be my life totem. It may sound crazy, but my feeling could not be denied. It reverberated through me.
I had a long drive ahead of me, through a wooded area. The full moon, a glowing sentinel in the sky, illuminated the night. Its beams easily penetrated the thick of trees above me and blanketed my surroundings in a clear, silvery light. Conditions were perfect. I couldn’t have asked for a better night to look for my life totem. My eyes darted to each side of the road, sweeping the woods for animals. I wondered what I would see first. Whatever it would be, I knew it wouldn’t be long. This stretch of road was teeming with wild life. However, on this night, everything was still, incredibly still.
I had been driving for half an hour and had not seen even the hint of movement. Not so much as the rustle of a leaf. It felt as if I had entered a vacuum, the place so strangely void of motion. As if all the animals in the woods had migrated to a distant land, and took the breeze and their noise with them. But I was not deterred. I had no doubt that I was to see my life totem that night.
“If the first animal I see tonight is my dog Bear, then the dog is my life totem!” I declared emphatically to the empty night.
But I knew in my heart that would not be true. I was almost home when it happened, when it swooped in front of my car. Out of the dark, silent woods; an owl flew.
A magnificent owl, its triumphant shape lit by my headlights against the black night. As it reached the center of my car, the owl spread its wings even wider, like it was showing off its glorious wingspan. Then, suddenly and incredibly, it turned and flew back into the woods from where it came.
I was confused by the path the owl took, and abruptness of its flight, but only for a moment. It made perfect sense. I had known it was coming. However, that didn’t make the display any less exhilarating. I remained seated in my car after I pulled in the driveway, replaying it in my mind.
I still couldn’t believe it. It was as if there had been an imaginary runway that ended at my windshield, and God had quieted the crowded woods for the grand unveiling of my life totem. I was stunned. I was expecting to see an animal, a raccoon, an opossum, or maybe if I was really lucky a fox, but never such a splendid creature as an owl. It filled me with awe, it humbled me.
Suddenly, I felt a tangible connection to something greater than myself. It left me feeling as if I had just opened the most perfect gift, a gift meant just for me and I smiled.
I am not alone. There is a connection. Through this connection, a spark ignited inside of me, and I saw a glimpse of my worth.
God, through my owl, confirmed it.
A life totem doesn’t have a specific message for you; rather, they are representative of your true nature. Often times they are animals that you are interested in or feel attracted to. I wasn’t surprised the owl was my life totem, as I have always had an affinity towards owls. I’m not sure if it’s because of their wise image which I identified with my intellect, but I have always loved owls.
Owls are nocturnal birds and are rarely seen by humans. Their flight is silent due to a fringe on the front edge of their wings. An owl’s eyesight is keen and they can change their vision from telescopic to microscopic in a second. Owls also have a third eyelid that helps keep their eyes clean and vision clear. Their ears are different sizes and asymmetrical which allows them to pinpoint the origin of a noise exactly. Their necks are remarkably flexible, enabling them to turn their heads 270 degrees in an instant. With these capabilities it is no surprise that they are adept predators, and rulers of the night sky.
The owl is associated with the moon, the feminine, and the mysteries of the night. Great myth and magic surround the owl because of its nocturnal nature and the silent glide of its flight. The owl’s keen eyesight and hearing is symbolic of a clairvoyant and clairaudient nature, which represents acute powers of observation. The ability of an owl to turn its head to see all around, along with their third eyelid to keep their vision clear, reinforces the message of observation. If an owl is your life totem, you have a gift of perception and observation and are able to discern the true nature of people and situations; you can “see” and “hear” things not obvious to others.
With this gift, you are able to give wise counsel to others. However, remember that not everyone has this heightened perception. Be careful to provide your counsel considerately. Make sure your advice is subtle and sensitive, not overbearing. Be as unobtrusive with your guidance as the wings of an owl are to the night sky. This resonated with me because I have frequently felt things about situations and other people, which eventually were revealed to be true. Unfortunately, my counsel has not always been subtle, in fact many times it was overbearing. Understanding the gift of the owl helped me to more fully understand my true nature, and to be careful to use it in a positive manner.
I was beginning to truly see God at work in my life and I was grateful.
An excerpt from Patricia Brooks’ book
God is in the Little Things; Messages from the Animals
To order her book or receive your free Understanding Animal Totems report
please visit http://godisinthelittlethings.com